Dwindling

The end of the week is approaching too fast for me. Normally I look forward to the weekends. This is one of the few I am not looking forward to. Monday brings me back to work. As excited as I am to wear all my snifty new clothes and get back into the adult working world, I am mourning the loss of my stay-at-home life.
How can I not see these faces all day long??I'm trying to convince myself that it's all for the best and that the girls' will be just fine. After all, they get to spend the month of August with GD - and I feel it is massively important for all of them to spend some good, quality time together. Emma is old enough to remember this summer when she's older and I want her to look back and have wonderful memories of it.

Time to put on my brave face and suck it up.

MI Adventure

The last few days have been crazy busy. And fun. And exhausting. And aggravating. And fun.

On Friday, Jason and I headed back over to Birmingham to stay the evening at The Townsend Hotel.

Since we had stayed there a few months back, we were prepared to have a nice, relaxing time. Good food, too. And as expected, they delivered. We walked ourselves over to a lovely spa for me to enjoy a pedicure and for Jason to soak up a massage. I must say, my toes looked quite fantastic and Jason left looking like a noodle with a perma-smile.

We wandered around downtown for a little while and found a yummy little cupcake store that allowed us the pleasure of selecting several tasty little confections to return home with us. Amazingly enough, they all survived the night and made it home in one piece - to be devoured later by gremlins with razor sharp teeth.

We had another scrumptious dinner at The Rugby Grille, the hotel's restaurant. Same table. Same server. Same amazing culinary experience. Can't be beat.

We awoke on Saturday to greet Jason's birthday with a yummy breakfast on our balcony. Some shopping at Somerset, pick up of a child at Grandpa's, a trip to Whole Foods and we were finally home.

Sunday. Off to MI Adventure we went! Being a seasoned Cedar Point visitor, I was excited to get back into the roller coaster world on a smaller park scale. Especially since we were toting two ten-year olds, a five-year old and Olivia. It was my Linda's daughter's birthday celebration and we were thrilled to go along. But, it did present some interesting dynamics. We had just sat down to breakfast when Jason whispered 'I'll have the surgery on Monday'. Apparently getting a glimpse at what was coming in a few years for us scared him. I'm not sure what did it. Perhaps the site of three little girls - plus the munchkin - all sitting on the opposite side of the booth from the adults. Bouncing. Wildly. Talking. Non-stop. Excited didn't even come close to their level of mood.

It was an awesome day. Pictures to come at some point hopefully. Since I was again vying for Mother of the Year, I left the camera at home and realized I had forgotten it after we were already on the freeway. Linda, thankfully, brought hers. And we grabbed a couple of toss away ones. Go us!

Emma rode her first roller coaster and LOVED it. Olivia was consumed with the sites, sounds and noise. We got back at 10 pm. Olivia missed dinner since she fell asleep shortly after we got in the car. She slept straight through a potty stop, dinner, dropping Linda and girls off, getting gas and returning home to be scooped out of the car and plopped in bed. Emma fought like crazy to not fall asleep. She finally succumbed about fifteen minutes before we got home. She awoke at 8:30 this morning.

This is my last free week before I have to return to work. I have to say that Sunday was a tremendous start to the week. Time with my girls. That's what I want. It's what I need.

Jaded

After reading a fellow bloggers description of her latest child's birth, I have to allow myself to stop and think. Have I become so completely jaded that I can't be happy for someone else who can 'make it happen'? She, like me, used to subscribe to the belief that all of those water-birthin'-momma's were crazy hippies. People who had obviously spent too much time in the sun and not enough time in reality. Then, she read some book, which I will not speak of, that changed her mind.

Now, I applaud people who can do the whole natural birth thing. No pain meds. No hospital. Sounds like a party to me. And then I think, are these people just rebelling 'against the man'? A lot of it comes from these people who write books about statistics relating to births and the amount of 'unnecessary' c-sections, usage of drugs, etc. To them I say, bravo. Good for you. It must be nice to be so blissfully unaware of what can happen if things don't go as you have scripted.

I think it's the people who get all hung up on their 'perfect day' that really get to me. Just because you have it all planned out to when you'll start pushing to the magical moment of pulling your baby out from the bathtub doesn't mean it will go that smoothly. It's like watching those shows where people start sobbing because they have to change their plans. They're probably the same people who spent tens of thousands of dollars on their wedding to make it the most perfect memory and experience for everyone who attended.

I must be in the minority who thinks otherwise. I want a healthy baby that I can create memories with for years to come. Will I remember their birth's for years to come - yes. Is it the most important memory I will have of them - no.

When I got married, did I spend a shit ton of money to make everyone happy and create some magical photo op? Hell no. The years that follow are more important to me. Making a spectacle out of one day seems so pointless to me. Talk all you want about it being some special day to show people how much you love each other - people really need to see that? So, how much money you spend on your wedding is related to how much you love each other? Seems a little skewed to me.

Jaded, yes I am. Can I accept other people's way of life, of course I can. I personally don't care what other people do as long as it isn't directly harmful to others. I just have strong feelings about certain things. One happens to be giving birth. I guess if I had never lost a child I might feel differently. What a world that would be.

End of Week

I can't believe it is Friday already. I know that somewhere out there, those pesky gnomes somehow managed to steal a day right out from under me. While I slept, they took Wednesday - just because they can.

With the weekend staring me down, I am faced with the inevitable question. What to do?

After chatting with a friend of mine, I discovered that her and her daughter are involved in a community theater that is putting on a show this weekend. It is outdoors and promises to have yummy treats and entertainment for the girls. I've got Saturday night covered. Thanks Linda!

I'm thinking it's time to pack up the kids and venture to Ft. Wayne to visit their zoo. We have yet to go this year and they have a new killer sky ride over their version of Africa. Should be fun to dangle above the animals - Olivia will try to feed them I'm sure. That may consume Sunday.

I shouldn't ever say that there isn't anything to do around here. I mean, there's the Ann Arbor Art Festival , in it's 50th year, going on next weekend. There's the Silver Leaf Renaissance Faire that starts this weekend and goes on for several weekends. There's always going to the lake. Exploring the dunes. Heading north. A vast array of options lie in wait. It's just so hard to narrow it down to one thing to do. And what will not make the kids want to explode with mass disinterest.

Here's to having a good weekend. Filled with fun, family and a little bit of dysfunction.

Memorials Galore

Ok, so I'm not trying to negate the obvious importance and influence of Michael Jackson. Anyone who hasn't lived in a bubble for the last 30ish years knows what he has done for music and more.

But seriously people, must we make such a public spectacle of his life? I know that he was kind of one of those 'larger than life' people, but really? Coverage of his memorial on TV and the Internet? Drones of people succumbing to the ways of the glove?

Lets get real for a minute. What has the man done for the last ten years? Or even fifteen? What good quality memories do we all have? Let's talk trials, accusations and just plumb weirdness.

I find it absolutely amazing how when someone dies, all is forgiven. Suddenly, everyone and their brother has some memory, story, personal connection to the dearly departed. Where was all the love when they were still alive? Why can't we celebrate them when they are still here?

Oh, but wait, we'd have to 'forget' all the wrong they have done. And that can't happen until they die. How ironic.

Work Load

It's official. I'm returning to work.

After recently interviewing at a 'local' bank, I was offered a job. Over the weekend, I struggled to come to terms with wanting to work and not wanting to leave the girls. After much internal debate, I knew what the answer was. I had to take the job.

On the upside, it is part-time, which means I won't miss the whole day with them. And, once Em is back in school, she won't even realize I'm gone. I'll be home in time to pick her up from school - just like I did last year without working.

It's hard to think of leaving them again. I had really settled into being home. Taking care of them. Having fun. But I know that it will all work out. They will be happy and well adjusted without me around them 24/7.

I just hope that when the girls look back on their childhood they remember the times that we shared. And not that I was absent.

Failing

So, I am feeling like a failure these days. Haven't had anything noteworthy to post about. Weather has sucked so the kids are suffering from major cabin fever. The holiday weekend is upon us and we have no plans. Unless you count cleaning out the garage an appropriate way to celebrate the 4th.

Now, there is the annual Battle Creek Field of Flight Air Show & Balloon Festival

going on this weekend. As much fun as it sounds to go and walk around with a massive crowd of people, I think I'll pass. Besides, the balloons tend to fly right over us or close enough that we can see them. Or, you may just catch a glimpse as you're driving around town. Also, the Thunderbirds, of which I can hear now as I type, fly right over us. So, we get the show and a little less noise from the comfort of our own homes.

All and all, it's kind of cool to be around here this weekend. Although, our small town is packed with out-of-towners who vary from knowledgeable to down right questionable. Love it all the same.