It has been seven years.Is that a long time? A drop in the bucket? I have tried to decide but haven't quite reached a conclusion. I think back over the past seven years and am amazed at how much has transpired. Moved to RI. Moved to MI. Births. Deaths. Countless family 'issues'. Moving. Job Loss. And so much more.
I think about how different the last seven years could have been. If Madison hadn't died seven years ago today, where would we all be? Would we still be in CO? Would we have decided to move closer to family? Would we have had two more children? How would she be doing right now? What would she look like? How would her quality of life be?
All the 'what ifs' and wondering is obviously not going to change anything. Then I think, would I want it to change? How do you come to terms with knowing that if you changed one thing that it would completely alter everything else? How guilty I feel sometimes for wondering how things would have been different.
But then I see my girls. Sleeping soundly in their beds. Not knowing what could have been. Healthy. Innocent. And so loved and needed.
Madison holds a special place in my heart and always will. I believe her purpose was to bring us all closer in a way. Her short life changed so many other lives. I am not the person I was seven years ago. Never will be again. I have a vastly different perspective on life because I had her in my life.
Her life and death has meaning. I have to believe that everything that happened was for a reason. Sometimes it's hard to understand the reason, but it's there.
Seven years is a long time. But there is so much more ahead.
