Post Christmas Haze

The dust has settled. The wrapping has been discarded. Toys have been removed from their ridiculously excessive packaging - don't get me started on the waste of a DS game case. Toys have been played with. Favorites have been chosen.

It was a wonderfully relaxing and peaceful Christmas here - even though the weather, in typical MI fashion, sucked. It was horribly windy and raining. Didn't make for a very festive outdoor scene. And it certainly didn't allow the girls a chance to build a snowman or even romp through the snow.

I have lots of pictures. None are downloaded. Too lazy to dig the cord out, attach it to the camera and push a few buttons. I'll work on that. Still busy being in denial about having to work this week. If I can get past that, then I'll do the picture thing. Until then, not a chance.

Dinner with Santa - The Grand Review

So, Saturday night we ventured out to the zoo for dinner with Santa. As we headed out, Emma kept asking where we were going. Once we passed the point of 'there's nowhere else to go but the zoo', she stated "Oh, we're going to the zoo".

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know, to eat?"

We arrived and shuffled into the designated 'dinner with Santa' area. Hmm, tables, food, yup, eating at the zoo. Then, some kids started pointing and making a mad dash for the door. Wonder who that could be. Well, if it wasn't good ole' St. Nick!

Emma gave one of her patented 'you've got to be kidding me looks' to us and smiled. Dinner with Santa was slowly taking hold of her little six-year old brain. Olivia was delighted. Not bad for a kid who was certain that Santa would eat her.

Santa made the rounds and dinner was served. Note the stick of sugar that Olivia is so lovingly touching. Thanks Santa.

Photo ops with Santa in his chair and then it was off to explore the zoo. It was so beautiful outside. There was the lightest of snow falling and it made the night.

Carousel rides.

Story time with Mrs. Claus.

Balloon Animals.

Arts & Crafts.

Success.

Dinner with Santa

I can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday night than having dinner with Santa. And Mrs. Claus. And other parents. Oh yeah, and all of the kids. That part may make it a little hard to swallow, but the girls will LOVE IT.

They don't know we're going. I don't think I can handle hearing about it every two seconds.

'Mommy, we get to eat with Santa!'

'Is it Saturday yet?'

'Is Santa going to eat me?'

Of course, all day Saturday would be a special torture session until we actually left the house for said dining experience.

So, we will wait. Until we are actually in the car. We'll even wait until we pull into the zoo and the confusion sets into their little heads. 'Why are we at the zoo?' Emma will ask. Olivia will just sit back happily kicking her little feet to see what happens next.

We will have fun. Lots of photo ops, story time with Mrs. Claus. Crafts to make. Free rides on the carousel. Who can beat that?

The Sweetest House

Maybe not edible, but it's certainly a welcomed sight in our home. A house within a home, if you will.

Saturday night, Jason and Emma sat down with the makings for a gingerbread house and assembled a masterpiece. I lost track of how many times Emma asked if she could eat some of it. And now that it's done, I don't remember how many times she has said 'Mommy, didn't our gingerbread house turn out good?'.

More Christmas shopping was done. I feel pretty good about what we've done so far. There are just a few things left to buy. And of course, there's all the wrapping. Usually I wrap as I buy. Not this year. Everything is just piled up in the basement. I can see myself on Christmas Eve, cursing previous weeks me for not taking care of it.

I am looking forward to Christmas. I can't wait to have a few days off to enjoy being at home with the girls. Last year I wasn't working and I'm feeling immensely guilty for not being here more.

'Tis the Season.

Compassionate Friends - Candle Lighting Event

It's that time of year again. I can't believe another year has passed. Another time for rememberance. Tears. Joy. Friendship. Love.

Please consider joining us in lighting a candle to remember our sweet baby, Madison this Sunday night at 7 pm. Each year since her passing we have done this. Each year I post a little blurb among the thousands on the Compassionate Friends website to keep her memory alive and intertwined with so many others who are gone.

Failure, Table for 1

I think I am going to have a camera permanently affixed to my hand. That way, I'll never forget it for important family events. Like Thanksgiving.

I was so mad at myself when I realized that I had forgotten the camera for Thanksgiving at the farm on Thursday. Of course, I thought about it once we got there, not while we were still in the freakin' driveway at home. I hate missing out on pictures of the kids and their cousins. And of course, the rest of the family eeks out a pic or two. So, yet another family gathering that won't be remembered by pictures. I'll just have to rely on my failing memory and brief back-flashes of the whole thing. That ought to get me far.

Another prime opportunity passed me by today, too. Emma went to a classmates birthday party at a roller rink. Catch that. A six year old. At a roller rink. Never been on skates. Barely manages walking most days. It was a beautiful site. When she first caught a glimpse of the skates, her face said it all. "What the hell are those and why are you coming at me with them?"

After some initial hesitation she was gliding along without a care in the world. Well, maybe a couple, but she did better than we all thought she would. She actually started falling on purpose. Who does that?!?!

She had a great time. It was fun to watch her venturing into something new. We may see if Santa can bring her some skates for Christmas.

Great holiday weekend. Wonderful family time. The girls had a blast.

Some sadness, though. Lil Bint, an amazing horse, sadly had to be put down on Friday. After many years of producing beautiful foals and providing my mom with hours of love and joy, she is now gone from this earth. She was a great horse and will be dearly missed. Amazing how an animal can make such an impact.

Turkey Week

Why does it seem like when there is a holiday the week blows by and you feel insanely busy? That's how it has been, and yet, I don't feel like I have done anything. Have I accomplished much? In my eyes, NO.

Everything seems to be taking longer. Has become more annoying. And less sleep, if that's even possible, is being had. I'm hoping to recoup some of it in the next couple of days.

Hoping to remember the camera tomorrow and to be able to post pictures of our Turkey Day festivities Friday. Since I won't be lining up anywhere at 4 am to get trampled by crazy people, I should have time.

Mini Bipolar Episodes

Olivia is such a charming little person. She is so cute. So sweet. So unsuspecting. You never see her coming.

Today, she displayed classic behavior that I like to call 'bipolar baby'. Her mood swings were so sudden and unpredictable. Pitty the poor people at the mall that had to bear witness to her tyraids.

Oh, she's capable, believe me. That sweet little face hides a master manipulator and best bipolar baby nominee. I think she is offering a class next semester at the local college. She needs to share her knowledge and mass talent with the world.

It is really best to keep her at home when these episodes flare up. The problem is, you never know when they will strike. You could already be out and about and BAM, she flips out on you. Then it's too late. You're screwed. That was us today. We were already well into the depths of our outing and she turned on us. The little green hulk emerged and anyone in its path be damned.

Everyone should really experience it. Truly uplifting. Makes you feel like a success. The envy of all around you.

Productivity

I like being productive. There are very few times that I truly feel like sitting around and wasting the day. Today, was not one of those days.

The girls and I headed out this morning to do a little shopping while Jason took care of some work stuff. We met up for lunch and dropped the van off to get some brake work done - kind of important I suppose.

We decided that since it was an unseasonably warm day here in MI that we would go test drive some cars. We are in the early stages of considering the replacement of the van. We've certainly loved having it. But now that the girls aren't babies and we don't need all that space anymore, it's time to move on. I've loved the van and its versatility. It has served us well. Oh, except that time for Olivia's birthday that it crapped out on I-94 and we had to walk in the freezing cold and have my dad come help us out.

New car considerations right now - Nissan Altima, Toyota Prius or Camry and the Ford Taurus. Didn't get to drive the Ford today since they were on 'winter hours' and closed at two today. Who knew. Guess we'll try again next weekend.

It's fun looking at cars. Love some of the things that have changed since we got the van. Nifty technology. Realizing how lazy and convenience driven we have gotten. Sad when you think about it.

Take Two

I can't decide if I like the new look. I may have to try another. What do you think, little blog? Do you like your new look? How many should we try before we find just the right one?

Test Phase

So, for less than an hour's worth of work, here's the first test run.

There are a few kinks to work out. Still not sure if I like this template. Sleep on it. Look again tomorrow with fresh eyes and brain.

Promises & Neglect

So a couple of weeks ago, I made a promise to my little blog. We passed the year anniversary of its start and I wanted to celebrate. Live big. Toast its inception and continuation.

A big fat nothing has happened.

With the whole gallbladder thing and Halloween and the Zoo Boo and many other things, my poor little blog has been forgotten. Tossed in the corner. Left to wilt like my plants (note to self - water plants).

So, with renewed zest and more promises (some that will surely be broken due to my inability to follow through on everything I want to do), I will set out on a journey. One that will hopefully lead me to a new blog design and some fancy stuff. I'm not sure how this will all work out. I am computer savvy, but not as much as I should be to do this stuff. Hopefully I don't screw it up.

Time will tell. Until then, dear blog, I hope you will forgive my shortcomings and eagerly await your face lift.

Halloween Weekend Joy

We live on a dead end street. It makes for a quiet environment. Safer for the girls. And it also means that they make a killing at the couple of houses that actually hand out candy. "You'll probably be the only kids I get tonight so why don't you take more." Music to their ears. For the ten houses we went to (only three on our street), the girls came home with full bags.

They were over the moon happy.

They approached the houses with different M.O's. Emma bounded up gleefully awaiting the door to open to say 'trick or treat!'. Olivia sauntered up not caring much, but immediately laughing from the time the door opened until she turned to leave and yell 'bye bye!'. Every house. The same thing. People thought she was cute. We thought she was crazy. The sight of all that candy nestled in her bag was already swimming through her veins and causing a massive imbalance in her senses.

Our girls don't get a lot of candy, so just holding onto more than they eat in a year was just too much for their little souls to handle.

So, with a successful Halloween safely behind us, we decided that Sunday would be catch-up-on-all-the-outside-shit-you've-put-off-because-you-didn't-want-to-do-it day.

The girls helped.

Emma was rather proud of her leaf piles. She kept raking leaves into a pile for her and Olivia to play in. They rode bikes. They ran around. They loved the fall day. It was good for them to have a day out of the house. Crappy fall days here in MI tend to keep us indoors way too much. Cabin fever = crazy kids.

Much was accomplished this weekend in and out of the house. Too much candy now resides on our kitchen table. But we're happy.

Zoo Boo Style

So our venture to the Zoo Boo was a grand success. The kids bags were full of candy, their smiles wide and often and memories were made.

After everyone gathered at our house, we got suited up in our costumes. We had witches, beer, Little Red Riding Hood, a dog, a bee, a pilot, a penguin, Tinkerbell & 'grapey'. Quite the array this year. It was too hard to coordinate like last year - but that was just fine. We were all in the spirit. Even my brother trusted me to provide him with a costume. He got off easy this time since I gave him Jason's penguin costume from last year.

We packed up in a few cars and zipped over to the zoo. It was a chilly and slightly damp night, but we lucked out and didn't get rained on. Upon entering the zoo, the kids raced ahead of us and ran to see what animals might be out. Once we got the trick-or-treat trail, it was all business. They were very careful to make sure they didn't miss any station - and I think they even hit some twice.

After the trail, we got to the children's zoo area where the 'carnival' was set up. Since we didn't want to spend the extra money, the kids didn't have any tickets to play the games. Never fear, they scammed their way into several. Even made off with a few prizes.

The carousel topped off our evening with two rounds of rides. I even got to ride once! Olivia passed on the first go-round. But offering up my friend Linda to her was enough to get her on the second time.

After we were done there, we hurried to the cars to warm up and head home for pizza. The second the kids hit the door, it was like they were transformed. You would think that we had kept them caged all day with a cupcake dangling just out of their reach. They were crazy. They were everywhere. To say they had energy would be an understatement. Even dinner didn't slow them down much. I think it was just a speed bump to them.

It got late quick. People had to pack up and head home. Some had driven for a couple of hours to join in the festivities. Poor Olivia had hit her limit and was completely melting into a crusty pile of child. Our day had come to close.

Until next year, Zoo Boo. A year to think of costumes. Idea are brewing already.

Pre-Post

Thanks DirtDawg for providing me with the group photo from last night's trip to the Zoo Boo. Thirteen of us braved the lovely MI weather to enjoy the festivities - and the candy. Everyone, including my 77-year old great aunt (that's Little Red Riding Hood to you) dressed up to get into the 'spirit' of things.

Most people really liked our passion for Halloween. My brother fetched many a comment on his recycled penguin costume. There were some, however, who frowned on my dad and Jason being beer bottles. Come on people - get the whole picture. My mom and I were witches - they were witches brew. I wanted 'Manwich' costumes for them, but I couldn't find any. Beer costumes may not be completely appropriate for a family outing, but when Em said 'daddy are you going to be a gummy bear for Halloween?' how could we say no? Yes, she can read. But she never looked at the writing on the front.

So, to all of you head shakers and poo-pooers, get a grip and get in the friggin' spirit.

Now that I've settled that, I have more pictures. I haven't downloaded mine just yet. I will add those and talk more about our fabulous night. Let's just say that it's an awesome family tradition and I hope that it continues for years to come.

And as a footnote, I am approaching a year of this blog. It was last year's Zoo Boo outing that inspired me to start it. It's a nice little blog. It gives me a tiny outlet for some daily events and gives family a chance to gleam a little more of our lives. So, thank you blog. We shall celebrate in style.

Apple Picking

So we ventured out this past weekend to our new favorite spot - Gull Meadow Farms. It's a really nice farm that offers apple picking, pumpkins, cider, donuts, and an array of activities for the kids. We packed into the van and shuttled ourselves over there on Sunday to do our yearly apple and pumpkin picking.

Naturally, I didn't bring the camera.

I always forget that damn thing. Family events. No camera. I can't seem to remember it until it's too late. I told Jason that we were going back so that we could pretend to pick apples and walk through the pumpkin patch just so that I could get some pictures. He graciously took some with his phone - none of which has graced my email yet.

Aside from this snafu, we had a great time. Olivia didn't really want to pick any apples, but she sure enjoyed eating them. She happily strolled up and down the lanes chomping on a delish Macintosh. Emma delighted in filling up the bag and then huffed it around. Pumpkins were found - after much debate over their form, touch and presentation. We are picky pumpkin people. And when I say we, I mean Jason.

Of course, no trip is complete without some of their tasty donuts. They are heavenly.

Until next year, Gull Meadow.

Stitch Free

So I've never had 'real' stitches before. I've had staples - thank you c-sections. But, thanks to my gallbladder, and apparently my inability to stop bleeding from one incision, I had to get real stitches. The ugly black, poke-you-every-time-you-move kind. It sucked. They were so in the way. And so uncomfortable.

But yesterday, they came out. A little painful, but well worth it. Now, when I move, it doesn't hurt. My sweaters aren't getting stuck on them. My bra doesn't catch on them. Best of all, I slept on my side last night for the first time! I'm almost back to my version of normal. All of the villagers are delighted.

So, as far as my first outpatient surgery goes, I can't complain too much. After one week, I was feeling well enough to go to work - could have gone back earlier but with a death in the family, I thought it best not to. And now, at the end of the week, I'm feeling pretty good.

It's nice to be able to pick Olivia up again. It's nice to feel useful and not useless.

Random picture...

The Passing of a Legend

Grandma Eva passed away yesterday morning.

It wasn't a total shock. She was approaching 100 years old. She had recently moved into a nursing home. Her health was declining. But she was still here with us.

I remember the days of eating dinner at her house. A table was set up in the basement to accommodate everyone. Freshly made pasta. The smell alone would draw you in. The taste, nothing short of amazing. I remember one time she made ravioli. The person I brought along didn't like ravioli, but ate a small plateful out of respect. When Grandma saw that the plate was empty, she promptly refilled it, rather generously, insisting that more be eaten. I smiled.

She wore a hearing aid and would turn in on and off, depending on whether or not she wanted to hear the noise around her. Sometimes she pretended to not hear you even though her hearing aid was on.

She was an amazing person. She outlived a lot of people, including her husband and one of her children. She leaves behind a small but loving family who will now have to find a new direction without her.

http://www.funeralquestions.com/obits/martenson/memorial.asp?listing_id=141448

The Slow Heal

I was so hopeful. Figured I'd be feeling better today. But alas, I'm not. I did manage a shower this morning at least. I fed the fish and the guinea pigs. I napped. Watched bad tv. Napped more. Ate a little bit. Napped some more.

I must admit, if I wasn't feeling crappy and losing money by not being at work, I would have truly enjoyed the last couple of days. I can't remember the last time I actually sat around and did absolutely nothing. I've always been able to muster the energy and stubbornness to suck it up and get things done. This time, I am actually listening to those who have YELLED at me to ensure that I take it easy. It's hard too, though. I can't pick up Olivia even though she wants me to. I can't play with the girls. I can't feed the dogs. I can't clean. I feel totally useless. Poor J looks tired at night and I feel bad that I can't help him.

Although, I do take some satisfaction knowing that he is getting a taste of what it is to be me. He acknowledged the other day that he had a new found respect for when I was a SAHM. After only a brief trip to the doctor's office with both of the girls he was instantly impacted by how hard it can be to tote them around to even the simplest of tasks.

More things like that will speed my recovery.

Me Minus an Organ

Gallbladder extraction was a success. Feeling a little better than I did last night. Definitely not as bad as a c-section, but still not entirely cozy. Thank you pain meds for making it somewhat possible for me to sleep.

Time to rest and see if I can return to work later this week. Can't stand to sit around and do nothing for too long. Can't sit by and watch the house grow a new level of dust and colony of dust bunnies. God love J, but his version of clean and mine are on completely different levels. I am no June Cleaver, but I do have an idea of how things should be around here. No idea why, though. With kids and pets I am fighting a losing battle. Yet, I continue to fight it. Stupid, I know, but I do get some satisfaction from a semi-clean house.

Gallbladder Go Bye Bye

Tomorrow morning I get to head into the hospital for a little outpatient surgery to rid my body of its malfunctioning gallbladder. Apparently the little bugger decided that it was bored so it formed some gallstones and screwed with my digestion abilities.

Joke's on you buddy! A little snip and tug and you'll be outta there!

Never had any surgery before. Unless you count the three c-sections. I was awake for those, though. I get to have general anesthesia for this one. Not sure what to think about it. As long as I wake up feeling like I had an awesome nap I'll be happy. Oh, and as little discomfort as possible would be nice too.

Surgeon didn't think he could do any lipo or tummy tuck while he was in there. Figured it was worth a shot. OB wouldn't do it either - and I asked each time. I'm just trying to save some money and conserve the health care system in my own little selfish way. The added bonus of a flat tummy is course sublime.

Birthday Success

It is official. Emma has had her first big kid party. And we all survived.

Since the festivities started on her actual birthday, we'll start there.

She awoke to some presents waiting for her on the kitchen table. After opening them, we dined on a yummy breakfast of eggs & sausage - the birthday request. Off to school she went with her 'cupcake cake' to share with her friends at snack time. I left work early to pick up balloons - two of which popped before I even got home - and the cake. Oh Coldstone, how I love you!

The rest of the week was full of phone calls, confirmations and preparations for Saturday - the big day. By Friday night, we had 18 kids confirmed to join us at Chuck E. Cheese. I realized we were crazy.

 All and all, it went really well. The kids started filtering in right around noon. After several had showed up we handed out their tokens and released them into the wild. I stood back in the designated 'party area' to greet other parents and dish out more tokens. The kids had about 45 minutes to play before pizza arrived. During pizza, there was a 'show' with Chuck and friends. Tokens were earned, tickets were tossed in the air, and a birthday medal was bestowed upon the birthday children (five other parties at the same time - those people are freakin nuts).

More cupcake cake with ice cream was had. More play time followed. And then they all left. And I didn't have to clean up. Had to pay, though. Guess that's part of the trade off.

Everyone had fun. Emma took her presents home to open and revealed quite the take - lots of books, gift cards for books. We spent the remainder of the day with some friends from the party. Relaxing. Enjoying dinner and a movie. Falling asleep on Olivia's floor at 8:30 - well, that was just me.

It was a jam packed day. Slept like babies that night. I have to say that having a kids party was a lot of fun. It turned out a lot bigger than I thought it was going to be but it was totally worth it. The kids happiness proved it.

 

Even the big kids...

The 6th Birthday

'Mommy, guess what Tuesday is?'

That's what I've heard over and over from Emma. With her birthday falling on Tuesday (today) I figured that's what she was anticipating.

Nope.

First day of fall. What could be better than that?

It just so happens that her birthday is on the first day of fall. Always will be. Unless the powers that be decide to shift the schedules of seasons. Who knows. They just might get bored one day and do it. Just because they can.

Anyhow, Emma woke up this morning and was thrilled that it was fall. I don't think she cared that it was her birthday. Until she saw presents, that is.

She had a bit of a rough patch at school, though, that could not be smoothed over by the cupcake cake she brought to class today. Apparently, when the teacher says no talking in line, she means no talking in line. Not even whispering. To answer a question.

No love lost. Just a little bit of second recess stripped away. Thank goodness because her legs were tired and she needed a break anyways.

No lesson learned there.

Seems like year six is keeping pace with year five just fine.

The Six-Year Old Bash

With Em's 6th birthday fast approaching, we are in the process of preparing for her first 'kid party'. This year's festivities will naturally be held at Chuck E. Cheese. Where else would parents want to spend two hours on a Saturday?

After much debate over invitations - I wanted to order some that were already filled out so that I wouldn't have to spend forever penning the same information over and over again until my hand fell off.

Common sense prevailed. Why spend the extra money on something you can do yourself? I'm currently not speaking to my common sense until it apologizes. 

It just doesn't understand how much I hate writing those things out. I feel compelled to write as nicely as I can so as to not appear that I let Em write out her own. Oh, but next year, she will. I won't care what people think of our invitations. Let her write them. Anal Annie will take the day off and go shopping whilst Em can waste a couple of hours taking care of her own invitations. After all, isn't it enough that we are providing her with a party and all that goes with it?

Besides, she is going to make out like a bandit on cakes this year. One 'cupcake cake' will arrive with her at school on the blessed day. One will greet her when she comes home from school on the blessed day. Another will accompany us to Chuck's. And, if she's super lucky, there may be yet another friggin' cake at the Farm.

Seriously, I didn't think it was possible to OD on cake. But it just might happen come next weekend.

Then, of course, there is the guest list. Em's approach seems to be like an award show. It's an honor to be nominated/invited, but if I don't win/go, it's still an honor. She has a few friends that she would definitely like to have come, and any additional attendees will be icing on the cake. One of them at least.

Can't wait to see how this all turns out. At least I still have a little over a week to wait. I can barely stand my excitement.

First Day Success

We have survived our first days of first grade and daycare. Even after my attempt at serving chocolate chip pancakes fizzled - stupid better for you breakfasts that sound so yummy and turn out crappy even though you meant well.

I can trust what Em says about how great everything is. Well, to a certain extent. The child throws around the phrases 'that's my favorite!' and 'that was so good' like a celebrity endorsing some asinine product. I can, however, believe that she enjoyed most of her day and that lunch was certainly a high point. The lovely inconsistent constantly evolving and ever-freakin' annoying MI weather cancelled out recess today - go figure.

Olivia managed to survive her first dip back into the daycare pool. I didn't receive any phone calls from the church requesting my immediate presence to remove my child, so I will certainly consider today a success. Since she has the ability to go from sweet to deranged in approximately .25 seconds, the people there have no idea how lucky they are. She has spared them. For now.

When I asked her if she enjoyed her day at school she replied 'no - want mommy'.

I'm still needed.

Too Quiet

Girls are gone to school & daycare.

Jason has left for work.

Here I sit. In the silence. Dogs barking occasionally. Dishwasher running.

No life runs through this house when they are gone.

School is Upon Us

Holy crap.

Tuesday is almost here.


Emma goes to first grade.


Olivia goes to daycare.


There will be blood.

Rain Rain Go Away

There it is again. Rain. Taking over the job of watering my plants and trees. How dare it. The nerve of Mother Nature.

I have to say, though, that it makes a lovely sound in the morning. Waking up to a gentle rain is kind of soothing. And for all the good it will do the lawn and everything else, I really don't feel like dealing with it today. Out comes the umbrella for my short walk across the street from the parking garage to work. At least it's not pouring (yet) and it isn't windy and blowing the rain sideways (yet).

The girls were supposed to start helping GD paint her fence today. A sight I was most interested in seeing. Perhaps the rain is a sign that it's not the right job for them. GD thought it would be fun for them. I'm seeing a disaster in the making. As long as Olivia doesn't try to drink it, we should be ok I guess.

Failure to Blog

I must apologize, dear little blog. You have been neglected. Left alone. Flapping in the breeze. Brushed aside like a well played with toy who is soon forgotten. It is all my fault.

Time slips away so much faster these days and I find that it becomes harder to carve out a dedicated time each day, or even every couple of days, to tend to your needs. You need more attention than I can give right now. You deserve someone who will update you and post pictures and take care of your design.

Well, too bad for you that you are stuck with me.
(Look at how she feels)

Like the regular chores around the house, you too will suffer.

So sorry. It's a painful lot in life, I know.

On the flip side of things, Emma is eagerly awaiting the return of school and all that it brings. I am fearing the afternoon pickup with a few hundred other parents, most who will undoubtedly believe that it is most imperative for them to make it out before anyone else because they are much more important. Olivia is blissfully unaware that come that first week of school, she will be joining daycare for two partial days of the week. Her life will get a mini-makeover and only time will tell what the outcome will be. At least she has the 'I'm so cute and innocent' look going for her. Although, it doesn't get her very far when the two-year old monster that resides inside of her suddenly escapes from her mouth.

Work is plodding along for me. I felt like this week I actually did some 'real' work and that I had 'real' responsibilities. I don't know how well it will keep my attention in the long run, but I am grateful for having a job again - finally! MI is in such a crappy place right now and with the highest unemployment rate in the nation, I am thankful that it only took me two years of looking to finally find a part-time job in my field.

Today's post is brought to you by crappy weather. It has forced us to be hermits inside. Taking refuge in the downstairs playroom so that we can't see the clouds and feel the sub-par temperatures we are suffering in late August.

Voices

Hard to believe I am wrapping up week three on my new job. It's gone by quickly, at times. I am still struggling with leaving the girls behind. Just yesterday I sat in the grocery store parking lot on my way to work thinking of all the things I'd rather be doing. I had an amazingly strong urge to not go in. Play hookey. Just quit.

But then, some stupid little voice in my head, the one that NEVER shuts up, said, you can't do that. That's not responsible. How selfish and immature.

Stupid little voice.

Can't get a moments peace around here with it.

Needless to say, I listened to the voice, very much against my will and the other voices. But, the one that speaks the loudest usually wins. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you. If you can pool your resources and gang up on that stupid little voice, all of you could be enjoying a victory some time soon.

Busy

I didn't realize how much time I wouldn't have to do things once I went back to work. As soon as I get home, I would much rather spend my time with the girls than vacuum or dust or do dishes or post to this blog. I feel like any spare moment I have should be spent with them. My guilt is taking hold and I fear it won't let go without a fight.

Burning River 100

I must give a quick and HUGE congrats to my big brother, Dirt Dawg, for running and completing the Burning River 100 Mile Endurance Race this weekend. He finished this morning at 8:27 am after twenty-seven hours and twenty-seven minutes. He was 56th out of a field of 101 - there were more, but not all who started crossed that finish line.

This has been a long time coming for him. I am immensely proud of him. It was such a lofty goal, but one that I knew he would make. I am filled with so much pride and admiration right now. I am hoping that he gets lots of much needed sleep, along with my brave SIL who was right there with him as a major inspiration and crew member. I know a lot of people were involved in him getting there and completing the race, but when it's all said and done, his two legs, grit and good ole' Croy mentality did it.

Dwindling

The end of the week is approaching too fast for me. Normally I look forward to the weekends. This is one of the few I am not looking forward to. Monday brings me back to work. As excited as I am to wear all my snifty new clothes and get back into the adult working world, I am mourning the loss of my stay-at-home life.
How can I not see these faces all day long??I'm trying to convince myself that it's all for the best and that the girls' will be just fine. After all, they get to spend the month of August with GD - and I feel it is massively important for all of them to spend some good, quality time together. Emma is old enough to remember this summer when she's older and I want her to look back and have wonderful memories of it.

Time to put on my brave face and suck it up.

MI Adventure

The last few days have been crazy busy. And fun. And exhausting. And aggravating. And fun.

On Friday, Jason and I headed back over to Birmingham to stay the evening at The Townsend Hotel.

Since we had stayed there a few months back, we were prepared to have a nice, relaxing time. Good food, too. And as expected, they delivered. We walked ourselves over to a lovely spa for me to enjoy a pedicure and for Jason to soak up a massage. I must say, my toes looked quite fantastic and Jason left looking like a noodle with a perma-smile.

We wandered around downtown for a little while and found a yummy little cupcake store that allowed us the pleasure of selecting several tasty little confections to return home with us. Amazingly enough, they all survived the night and made it home in one piece - to be devoured later by gremlins with razor sharp teeth.

We had another scrumptious dinner at The Rugby Grille, the hotel's restaurant. Same table. Same server. Same amazing culinary experience. Can't be beat.

We awoke on Saturday to greet Jason's birthday with a yummy breakfast on our balcony. Some shopping at Somerset, pick up of a child at Grandpa's, a trip to Whole Foods and we were finally home.

Sunday. Off to MI Adventure we went! Being a seasoned Cedar Point visitor, I was excited to get back into the roller coaster world on a smaller park scale. Especially since we were toting two ten-year olds, a five-year old and Olivia. It was my Linda's daughter's birthday celebration and we were thrilled to go along. But, it did present some interesting dynamics. We had just sat down to breakfast when Jason whispered 'I'll have the surgery on Monday'. Apparently getting a glimpse at what was coming in a few years for us scared him. I'm not sure what did it. Perhaps the site of three little girls - plus the munchkin - all sitting on the opposite side of the booth from the adults. Bouncing. Wildly. Talking. Non-stop. Excited didn't even come close to their level of mood.

It was an awesome day. Pictures to come at some point hopefully. Since I was again vying for Mother of the Year, I left the camera at home and realized I had forgotten it after we were already on the freeway. Linda, thankfully, brought hers. And we grabbed a couple of toss away ones. Go us!

Emma rode her first roller coaster and LOVED it. Olivia was consumed with the sites, sounds and noise. We got back at 10 pm. Olivia missed dinner since she fell asleep shortly after we got in the car. She slept straight through a potty stop, dinner, dropping Linda and girls off, getting gas and returning home to be scooped out of the car and plopped in bed. Emma fought like crazy to not fall asleep. She finally succumbed about fifteen minutes before we got home. She awoke at 8:30 this morning.

This is my last free week before I have to return to work. I have to say that Sunday was a tremendous start to the week. Time with my girls. That's what I want. It's what I need.

Jaded

After reading a fellow bloggers description of her latest child's birth, I have to allow myself to stop and think. Have I become so completely jaded that I can't be happy for someone else who can 'make it happen'? She, like me, used to subscribe to the belief that all of those water-birthin'-momma's were crazy hippies. People who had obviously spent too much time in the sun and not enough time in reality. Then, she read some book, which I will not speak of, that changed her mind.

Now, I applaud people who can do the whole natural birth thing. No pain meds. No hospital. Sounds like a party to me. And then I think, are these people just rebelling 'against the man'? A lot of it comes from these people who write books about statistics relating to births and the amount of 'unnecessary' c-sections, usage of drugs, etc. To them I say, bravo. Good for you. It must be nice to be so blissfully unaware of what can happen if things don't go as you have scripted.

I think it's the people who get all hung up on their 'perfect day' that really get to me. Just because you have it all planned out to when you'll start pushing to the magical moment of pulling your baby out from the bathtub doesn't mean it will go that smoothly. It's like watching those shows where people start sobbing because they have to change their plans. They're probably the same people who spent tens of thousands of dollars on their wedding to make it the most perfect memory and experience for everyone who attended.

I must be in the minority who thinks otherwise. I want a healthy baby that I can create memories with for years to come. Will I remember their birth's for years to come - yes. Is it the most important memory I will have of them - no.

When I got married, did I spend a shit ton of money to make everyone happy and create some magical photo op? Hell no. The years that follow are more important to me. Making a spectacle out of one day seems so pointless to me. Talk all you want about it being some special day to show people how much you love each other - people really need to see that? So, how much money you spend on your wedding is related to how much you love each other? Seems a little skewed to me.

Jaded, yes I am. Can I accept other people's way of life, of course I can. I personally don't care what other people do as long as it isn't directly harmful to others. I just have strong feelings about certain things. One happens to be giving birth. I guess if I had never lost a child I might feel differently. What a world that would be.

End of Week

I can't believe it is Friday already. I know that somewhere out there, those pesky gnomes somehow managed to steal a day right out from under me. While I slept, they took Wednesday - just because they can.

With the weekend staring me down, I am faced with the inevitable question. What to do?

After chatting with a friend of mine, I discovered that her and her daughter are involved in a community theater that is putting on a show this weekend. It is outdoors and promises to have yummy treats and entertainment for the girls. I've got Saturday night covered. Thanks Linda!

I'm thinking it's time to pack up the kids and venture to Ft. Wayne to visit their zoo. We have yet to go this year and they have a new killer sky ride over their version of Africa. Should be fun to dangle above the animals - Olivia will try to feed them I'm sure. That may consume Sunday.

I shouldn't ever say that there isn't anything to do around here. I mean, there's the Ann Arbor Art Festival , in it's 50th year, going on next weekend. There's the Silver Leaf Renaissance Faire that starts this weekend and goes on for several weekends. There's always going to the lake. Exploring the dunes. Heading north. A vast array of options lie in wait. It's just so hard to narrow it down to one thing to do. And what will not make the kids want to explode with mass disinterest.

Here's to having a good weekend. Filled with fun, family and a little bit of dysfunction.

Memorials Galore

Ok, so I'm not trying to negate the obvious importance and influence of Michael Jackson. Anyone who hasn't lived in a bubble for the last 30ish years knows what he has done for music and more.

But seriously people, must we make such a public spectacle of his life? I know that he was kind of one of those 'larger than life' people, but really? Coverage of his memorial on TV and the Internet? Drones of people succumbing to the ways of the glove?

Lets get real for a minute. What has the man done for the last ten years? Or even fifteen? What good quality memories do we all have? Let's talk trials, accusations and just plumb weirdness.

I find it absolutely amazing how when someone dies, all is forgiven. Suddenly, everyone and their brother has some memory, story, personal connection to the dearly departed. Where was all the love when they were still alive? Why can't we celebrate them when they are still here?

Oh, but wait, we'd have to 'forget' all the wrong they have done. And that can't happen until they die. How ironic.

Work Load

It's official. I'm returning to work.

After recently interviewing at a 'local' bank, I was offered a job. Over the weekend, I struggled to come to terms with wanting to work and not wanting to leave the girls. After much internal debate, I knew what the answer was. I had to take the job.

On the upside, it is part-time, which means I won't miss the whole day with them. And, once Em is back in school, she won't even realize I'm gone. I'll be home in time to pick her up from school - just like I did last year without working.

It's hard to think of leaving them again. I had really settled into being home. Taking care of them. Having fun. But I know that it will all work out. They will be happy and well adjusted without me around them 24/7.

I just hope that when the girls look back on their childhood they remember the times that we shared. And not that I was absent.

Failing

So, I am feeling like a failure these days. Haven't had anything noteworthy to post about. Weather has sucked so the kids are suffering from major cabin fever. The holiday weekend is upon us and we have no plans. Unless you count cleaning out the garage an appropriate way to celebrate the 4th.

Now, there is the annual Battle Creek Field of Flight Air Show & Balloon Festival

going on this weekend. As much fun as it sounds to go and walk around with a massive crowd of people, I think I'll pass. Besides, the balloons tend to fly right over us or close enough that we can see them. Or, you may just catch a glimpse as you're driving around town. Also, the Thunderbirds, of which I can hear now as I type, fly right over us. So, we get the show and a little less noise from the comfort of our own homes.

All and all, it's kind of cool to be around here this weekend. Although, our small town is packed with out-of-towners who vary from knowledgeable to down right questionable. Love it all the same.

Columbus, OH

We did it.

We survived a four hour car ride (twice!) with the girls.

And it was great.

We loaded up the car Thursday morning and much to our surprise and delight, we left on time! After a fairly uneventful drive, complete with picnic lunch, we arrived in Columbus earlier than we thought we'd get there. We killed time at a nice mall and then met up with our friends at their home. We all relaxed and enjoyed catching up while the girls explored their new territory. Dinner was had and the next task was daunting - getting the girls to sleep. In an unfamiliar room. In a bed. Together.

After what seemed like forever, they were sleeping like logs.

Friday morning, we rose to take on the challenge of the Columbus Zoo.



The zoo is ginormous. Thankfully, our friend Bill came with us to help navigate and entertain the kids.

We saw the new baby elephant. We loved the aquarium and much time was spent in there, just sitting and watching all of the beautiful fish.

We saw monkeys. Bears. Pumas. A Moose. Penguins. A Lion. A boat ride was had. And of course, the carousel was enjoyed.

The day quite frankly, rocked. The girls, and us adults were pretty well exhausted by the end of the day.

Saturday brought a whole new adventure. Our friends slept in and we slipped out for some breakfast before heading out to the North Market. Simply put, an absolutely amazing place. I could only dream of having something like it close by. The abundance of food and culture that await you there is astounding. With so much to take in, we circled the market a few times before settling on some delectable treats to take home with us. Jeni's Ice Cream was definitely a highlight. Three containers of heaven followed us home. Exquisite fresh ravioli awaits us for tomorrow night's dinner. And, if that wasn't enough, we discovered some tasty confections that will fill our tummies after the girls retire this evening.

I don't know how we made it out of there without consuming or purchasing everything in sight. It was such an amazing experience. One that I am so glad we took the girls to partake in.

After we were full of scents, tastes and dreams of yummy, we dropped our goodies off and scooped up our friends for a shopping trip in Easton. After exhausting ourselves taking in all that was to be offered we returned once again to enjoy dinner and company.

This morning, we rose to make some muffins and pack ourselves up. After unleashing the girls one more time on our friends, we said our goodbyes and headed north. Now that we are home and settled back in, it feels good to be here. For the few days we were gone, it was bliss. Not having to be here, in the 'norm' of things was heavenly. It was so nice to leave everything behind. It made me yearn for some change and a new direction. I can't quite say what that will entail, but it kind of woke me up a little bit.

The girls had an amazing time. And, despite Emma's attempts to secure a new family for herself, we all enjoyed our family time together.

Much thanks and love to our friends, Bill & Melissa. We sincerely appreciate you taking our brood into your home and taking such good care of us. We loved our time with you and can't wait to do it again soon - if you'll have us.